You are aloof, mysterious, and distant. People feel like they really don't know the true you...Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force. Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself. It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose. You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.
thats what the tarot/voodoo lady said...yes, for the first time in my life, i went to get my palm read... i dont care if i wasted money or shit...i just wanted to do it... it is easier to push people away rather than having to explain urself...i of all people should understand that but being a girl my damn female emotions get in the way but i must say i have learnt to hold it back alot better than before but i still do make mistakes... what she said is kindda true in some ways tho sometimes i dont want to admit it... i do tend to put up a front esp towards people im not frens with...why would i want to show my shitz right... sometimes i dont feel it the right thing to do... sometimes i let bitchyness get the better of me and Deny Deny Deny... is this the reason i get confused easily?... or maybe this whole fricking thing is just in my "only child syndrom" head... or maybe im just retarded...
see how i just veer off into another topic.... thats a problem im trying to fix...my mind just goes in different directions thats i cant stay on one topic long enuf to make sense... i need a shrink and not a voodoo lady..lol.
another thing is im too bloody fickle....i irritate myself! i dnt know why i do it i just do. its like i get excited over the smallest thing that it instantly becomes a Want... no wonder im single who hasnt had a date in like 2 fricking years... well i have a fren who i try to hang out with but i dnt think that counts as a date..right? its not that i need a guy in my life... i just think that its nice to have a companion with whom u can do anything with...come on u gotta admitt that everyone needs a lil loving every now and then...if u dont then ur not my type..or human of that matter...
i think as much as some people say "don't try to understand me... im complexe"...i think they're denying themselves opportunity to be embraced for who they are...*note to self*...
if i think of any other wise words.. ill type it out tmrw cos im dying to sleep..... tonight in la la land...i want to be Master of "The F-ing Obvious"...yes thats where my alter ego goes to do alter ego things... im sleepy, pardon my no sense ramblings *yawn*.
xoxoxo........nitez
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